remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
