I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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