So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
