They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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