Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
