They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize