So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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