We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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