I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
