So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
