enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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