I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
