is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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