Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
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