Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
