i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
