Where did you get a picture of my penis
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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