Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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