so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
