I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize