woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize