i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
