Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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