I wish I only lived at night.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
