You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
