I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize