I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
