that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
