let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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