oh god the rape fog is back!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
