I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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