literally had 100 drinks last night.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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