i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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