Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize