She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
