I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
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he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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