His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she looked like the before picture.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
