Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
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the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
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As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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