oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
