We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
