That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
