is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
