I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
