I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
