going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
and she was petting her beer can
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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