Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
