i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
