Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize