i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
