are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
