The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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