hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
