Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
