I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
