Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
