he wants to bone in the snuggie
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
