Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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