I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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