You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
