My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
