I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
