Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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